Popcorn Machine

Hello everyone! Good news, I was finally discharged from the hospital about a week ago, even though my neutrophil level was only around 500. I was so happy to be home, but I was having these almost anxiety attacks. My first night home I just kept walking back and forth throughout the house.  I had no idea what I was doing or what I wanted to do. Like Forest Gump once said, “I just felt like running.” I just felt like walking around.  The first few nights home I would feel a bit anxious and continued to wake up at 4am like I was still in the hospital, I even took a few 5am walks around the neighborhood to try and relax.  I felt very overwhelmed with the simplest things and I was having a very hard time explaining this feeling to Abbey. I later learned from one of my doctors (who is a cancer survivor herself), that I’m experiencing something called, “chemo brain.” There is no true definition, but it’s where you feel, like I said, very overwhelmed and over stimulated. My doctor described it as having ADD or having a popcorn machine going in your head that you can’t turn off. It’s frustrating, but nice to know that it is common. I’ve been getting a lot better now and I’m starting to feel like my old self again. I can definitely feel a difference in my body after the treatment I had.  I’ve been enjoying being at home with Abbey. We’ve spent most our time putting baby gadgets together and taking the dog on walks. Our one year wedding anniversary was on Monday. We spent the day at the doctors getting my bone marrow biopsy. I had Abbey recorded it this time, and she got to see it twice!  The doctor couldn’t extract the piece of bone from the instrument used to get the bone sample, so she had to go in and get another one, ouch. We are waiting on the results to see if the chemo put the Leukemia into remission. If I am in remission, I will have to do three more rounds of consolidation chemo treatments, over the next few months. This should start next week.  I’ll keep you all posted as soon as I find out. Again, I am so thankful to have so much support from so many people!!!


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